with cain resurrected, i am the homeless one

“…The heart of the sons of men is full of evil, and madness is in their heart while they live…”
(Ecclesiastes 9.3)
 
Wherewith shall I come before the LORD,
and bow myself before the high God?
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good;
and what doth the LORD require of thee,
but to do justly, and to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with thy God?
​(Micah 6.6, 8)

mad state of rebellion:
with cain resurrected,  i am the homeless one
may 8, 2022

My mind once again turns, as it so often has in recent years, to the Old Testament character, Cain (Qayin), the searching question God posed to him, and his belligerent response.
 
“YHWH asked Qayin, ‘Where is your brother, Hebel?’
He replied, ‘I don’t know. Am I responsible for my brother?’” (Gen. 4.9, author’s translation)
 
This exchange always deserves careful attention in its own right. It deserves the careful attention of all of us today because of its terrible relevance to current affairs. It earns my attention today because of my own struggles in dealing with the innumerable Cains our society has spawned.
 
The exchange between God and Cain deserves careful attention in its own right for a number of reasons. One can imagine any number of human activities, good and bad, that transpired in the years immediately following Adam and Eve’s exile from Eden[1] (I still smile every time I recall the painting that appeared many years ago in one Church publication or another. The painting portrayed Adam and Eve having a family home evening with their children. It makes me chuckle even now as I mention it.). Anyway, there had to have been billions of human acts before Cain’s violent murder of his brother, Abel. Yet, this was the first post-Eden story that the writers reported. It is astonishing, really. Some might even say it is perverted. But I say, it is remarkably apt that they should begin human history with a story of such perversion. Many, many thousands of years ago, someone or someones warned us about the nature of the human race. The planet is a violent place because of this dominant violent race. We should be on guard for the inevitable violence.
 
And, we should be on guard for the ungodly justifications of said violence. Again, we are struck by the Biblical writer’s bold and determined commitment to truth telling. For, just as there had to have been many billions of human actions between the departure from Eden and Cain’s murder, there had to have been gazillions of human words spoken in the same time frame. But, like the billions of human actions, the inspired writer passed over every one of the words and conversations, good and bad, without comment and reported these as the first human recorded words:
 
“I don’t know. Am I responsible for my brother?” (KJV, “I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?”).
 
This brings us to the present, one form of the present’s violence, and the relevance of Cain’s response to God’s query about the whereabouts of his brother. Syntactically, by means of its prefixed interrogative particle, ha-, the Hebrew text presents Cain’s response to God’s question as a question, “Am I responsible for my brother?” But even the most undiscerning reader knows that Cain’s question was not really a question. It was a statement. It was an arrogant and belligerent and unapologetic assertion that he had no responsibility for or to his brother. And since he had no responsibility for or to his brother, then he had no responsibility for or to anyone… but himself.
 
And even the most undiscerning libertarian reader knows that Cain’s assertion, masquerading as a question, was patently false; that his aggressive assertion is contrary to every feeling and principle that exists in the heart of God, as well as every hope and expectation he possesses for humanity.
 
And yet, millions of Americans, many of them Bible readers and professed Christians, have lived for the past two and a half years, essentially spitting Cain’s violent retort into the beautiful face of a God whom they claim to know and love, but whom they blaspheme with every breath they breathe.
 
“I will not mask. I will not be vaccinated. I have no responsibility and no obligation to and for anyone but myself. If others become sick, if others die because of my putrid breath, that’s on them, not on me.”
 
Even the most undiscerning libertarian Bible reader ought to know that this assertion is patently false; that this aggressive assertion is contrary to every feeling and principle that exists in the heart of Yahweh, as well as every hope and expectation he possesses for humanity. And they do know. But, they are like Amulek of Book of Mormon fame.
 
“I did harden my heart, for I was called many times and I would not hear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know; therefore I went on rebelling against God, in the wickedness of my heart… (Al. 10.6).
 
Like Amulek, they have made a choice. A willful choice. They have willfully chosen a lie over the truth. One can only hope that they, like Amulek, will find their own “fourth day of this seventh month.” For their sake and for the sake of all the rest of us.
 
This brings us to my own struggles in dealing with the innumerable Cains who have reincarnated in American society. What am I to do to with them? How can I trust them? How can I believe a word they say, but for those words in which they reveal their narcissism coupled with hatred of God and of others?
 
They stand and bear testimony that they know God lives; that Joseph Smith was a prophet; that the Book of Mormon is true; that the Church is led today by living prophets. And how, I wonder, am I supposed to believe that they have discerned the truth of all the things they claim to know when they cannot discern the truth of the existence of a sickening and potentially deadly pathogen? I do not question the veracity of all to which they testify, but I do question, doubt with a skepticism unlike any other I have known in my life, that they can discern such spiritual truths when they cannot discern the most simple of truths: a dead virus was loose among humankind and simple measure were needed in the face of it.
 
And what am I to do and feel when they stand and testify that they “love each and every one of you.” I know that they do not love me, and many others like me. They have shown me that by their works. If they loved those outside their insular families, they would have happily social distanced and worn a mask. They would be vaccinated. It is just that simple.

I simply cannot compartmentalize and separate their testimonial assertions from their deviant actions. Upon deciding that he had no responsibility for or to others and then living by that dictum, he became a “fugitive and a vagabond.” He was a pariah in society. Should these modern day Cains who are willing to see others sicken and die so that they can selfishly avoid the inconvenience and discomfort of a mask or shot be treated any differently? Why do their leaders treat them with kid gloves, coddle their violence?
 
As for me, I can no longer give them a listening hear. I hear only hypocrisy. These modern day Cains are, to me, a staggering and tottering people. They are wondering fugitives from the truth.[2]
 
Unfortunately, we are all—whether we like it or not, whether we want to be or not—connected. As Paul reminded us, what happens to one part of the body is felt by all members of the body. And so, their staggering and tottering has made a homeless wanderer of me. Those who I once thought of as friends,
 
“with whom, together, I enjoyed sweet companionship
         with whom, together, I walked among the worshippers…[3]
 
these now appear dangerous. Their actions shameful. Indecent. Cain-like. UnChrist-like.
 
I am torn. Do I, can I, maintain Alma’s perspective that “their souls are precious, and many of them are our brethren.” Can I hope that God will give me and others “power and wisdom that we may bring these, our brethren, again unto thee”; reclaim them from their apostacy?[4]
 
Or, do I follow the Psalmist’s lead and resort to cold, hard execration?
 
“Let death come upon them;
            may they descend into hell while still alive
               because multiply evils are in their homes, deeply imbedded.”[5]
 
I don’t know. I vacillate back and forth between the two futures, not sure which one will finally win the day.
 
For now, I can only do as I have always done. Take refuge in him who is and always has been my go-to “hiding place.”[6] My true home.
 
“Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me:
   for my soul trusteth in thee: yea,
in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge,
   until these calamities be overpast.”[7]
 
Even so, come, Lord Jesus!
 

[1] My discussion of events recorded in Genesis as if they were literal is simply rhetorical, much like I might do if I were discussing Shakespeare’s play Hamlet. But I do not take the events recorded in Genesis literally. As is the case with Shakespeare’s play, the importance of the principles expounded in Genesis far, far outweigh any value that might come from literal readings.
[2] See Gen. 4.14. The basic meaning of Hebrew, nûa‘ and nûd, KJV’s “fugitive” and “vagabond,” are “to stagger” and “to totter.” They can also have the more concrete meaning, “to wonder aimlessly” and “to be homeless.”
[3] Psalm 55.13-14, author’s translation
[4] Alma 31.35
[5] Psalm 55.15, author’s translation.
[6] Psalm 32.7
[7] Psalm 57.1